Happy Birthday

It's been almost 10 years. Wow. How can that even be possible?

In May of 2004, my family lost one of the most important people in our lives. My stepmother, Donna, who had raised me since I was 4, lost her battle to cancer. And I remember just about every detail of the final moments of her life. Those moments are not what I want to share though today. Instead, I want to talk about her life and what she meant to me.

The month of May for the last ten years have always been hard. It's not only the anniversary of her passing, but it's Mother's Day and her birthday, which is May 1st. Even though there isn't a day that goes by where I don't think of her, May just seems to slap me in the face with memories.

Donna was a person that everyone looked up to. She had a strong presence, even while being quiet. She was given a raw deal in the health department, which is the understatement of the century. She struggled with Lupus since she was 22. Battled countless issues related to the disease time after time, but she was so strong, that you often wouldn't know she was sick. When she was diagnosed with cancer and given a year to live, she was ready to give it her all. She was going to fight and try to kick cancer's ass.

Unfortunately, like everyone knows, cancer is one hell of an opponent.

I miss her so much. I miss the talks we would have daily. I'd curl up on the couch with her with a cup of tea/coffee or if she wasn't feeling well, I'd lay on her bed and discuss what was going on lately. In retrospect, what I would talk about was incredibly unimportant compared to what she was experiencing, but to her, she was just catching up with her daughter.

She was my rock.

Donna was a creative soul. She could create something out of nothing. She painted slates, made Christmas ornaments(for EVERY child she knew) and made broom dolls. Now let me tell you about these broom dolls! Picture little witch like brooms with different styled dolls attached to them. None had a painted face (made out of Styrofoam balls), but they were dressed with raffia paper for every holiday and included hair and hats. My favorite was always the Angel, which were decked out with wings. She would make hundreds of these things. And as one of her little helpers on occasion, they were tough. Unrolling the raffia paper hurt your fingers until they became numb to any feeling. She would show at craft fairs and do extremely well.

Donna had the best smile. One of those smiles that you could recognize anywhere and it would light up a room. And speaking of light, it just seemed to emit from her. It's almost as if she already was chosen to be an Angel, because she radiated warmth and love. She never did have children of her own, so she took raising my brother and I very seriously. She was amazing with children. They brought her such joy. And every child that met her, loved her back. Our house became the house that all our friends wanted to come to. She became an honorary mom to many of my friends. So, when she died, they felt the loss as hard as we did.

One of the hardest things about not having her around is all the moments that I don't have her here for. However, since I've always believed that she was my Guardian Angel, she has been "present" for every single one of them. My wedding day was very emotional. Not having her there to help pick out the dress, the venue, etc was difficult. But, I wanted her to be a part of the whole day. I ordered a lei from Hawaii (where she lived for awhile and loved) and had it placed on the closest chair next to me during the ceremony. It was accompanied by a cardinal statue (we had discussed she would be reincarnated as a cardinal). There were songs dedicated to her and words written in our ceremony about her. But, most importantly, if you believe in spirits, she was there. My husband and I got married in October on a farm. The night before the wedding it was pouring and the grounds were soaking wet. We planned on marrying under a huge tree. It didn't look good for us. But miraculously on the wedding day, the ground was completely dry! On my drive to the wedding, when I started getting that nervous belly feeling, "You've Got a Friend" by Carole King came on the radio and I knew that was Donna trying to calm me down. And then finally, the biggest clue that Donna was at our wedding, the wind nearly blew my veil off when our officiant (my cousin Yvonne, http://yvonnedesousa.com/) mentioned her during the ceremony. We all felt her in that moment.

Donna has been on this journey of our marriage every step of the way. I felt she was there when my son was born. I believe that she even became his Guardian Angel as well. There were moments that he would randomly look over his left shoulder and even reach out for something (I believe it was her hair). He seemed to recognize her picture without having a clue of who she was. That story is going to be a long one when he's ready and old enough to hear it. I also strongly believe she has been there for all of my miscarriages. When we lost our Olivia (my first miscarriage) at 18 weeks, I was petrified about the procedures I had to endure. When I didn't think I could handle the pain, I felt a warmth come over my body. I felt almost pinned down to the table. But I realized it was Donna, just giving me a hug. Telling me that everything was going to be okay. And at that moment, I took a deep breath and could go on.

There will never be enough words to thank her for everything she has done. I am blessed to have had her in my life as a mother and to have her in our lives as an Angel.

About 5 or 6 years ago (can't quite remember), I wrote a song. I was driving on the highway home from work, when a feeling came over me. Words started pouring out of my soul. Don't worry, I kept my eyes on the road, but as soon as I got home, I made sure to write it down. Never formally composed music to it, but that song (which still remains unnamed) has stuck with me.

So, instead of sharing a recipe with you today. I'm sharing a piece of my heart. Please be kind.

P.S. If you were wondering what the image at the top is...it's her bracelet. This is her name in Hawaiian.

Waffles!

Two years ago, when I asked my toddler son what he wanted Santa to bring him for Christmas, his answer was priceless.

"Pancakes and Waffles".

Plain and simple, that's all my little guy wanted! And it made sense, since that was clearly his favorite breakfast. He loved both with fervor, especially with what he called "Dip Dip" or maple syrup. When we didn't have time to make a mix from scratch, I settled for store bought frozen. Often I would buy Kashi blueberry waffles, but our FAVORITE brand was Van's (http://www.vansfoods.com/our-products-waffles). We particularly like their flax and their apple cinnamon. However, when it's a staple food in your weekly menu, it gets pricey.

I tinkered around with a few different recipes and then I came across one I loved from a wonderful blog called Give Me Lemons (http://givemelemons.com/2013/08/23/cinnamon-waffles/). Their recipe called for applesauce, which cuts down the added sugar and we already had tons of homemade canned applesauce to use. I played around with it, until I got exactly what I was looking for. I now make a double batch that I can store in my freezer and have on hand whenever we need them!

Ingredients (This doubled recipe makes about 8-9 large Belgian waffles. I break them into individual "triangles", so you get even more)

4 eggs
2 cups of White Whole Wheat flour
2 cups of Spelt Flour
1 cup of applesauce (preferably a low sugar kind)
3 cups of milk
4 tbsp of sugar
2 tbsp of cinnamon (normally I use Ceylon, but I want a powerful cinnamon flavor)
2 tsp of vanilla
8 tsp of baking powder
1 tsp of salt
2 tbsp of ground flax
Spray for waffle iron

I chose to add flax, because I pretty much add it to every baked good these days. The health benefits for flax include; Omega-3 fatty acids, lower risk for certain diseases and great source of fiber among so much more! Spelt flour is fairly new to me. Spelt is in the wheat family, but it's a non-wheat flour. It contains a higher protein, lots of nutrients and quite frankly I get sick of using just one or two types of flours! I like to experiment to see what kind of texture each one lends to a dish.

Begin by whisking your eggs together until frothy in a large bowl.

Add in everything else.

Mix well to combine. Don't over mix. If there a few clumps here and there, just leave them alone. Mixed too much creates a tougher waffle.

Spray your waffle iron well (you'll want to do this frequently so they don't stick)

Once the iron is hot, add in about a couple small ladles full and let it do it's thing. Don't take them out until they peel (almost fall out) of the iron nicely. Nobody wants a soggy waffle!

These are so good, I sometimes don't put anything on them. Just give me a cup a coffee and I'm good.

But of course, if you absolutely MUST have syrup...live it up! I mean these pockets just call for syrup after all.

Behold, the Tower of Waffles.

Now that I've shared a truly beloved recipe with you, I'd love to hear from you! What recipes are your go-to in your home?

Oh..and totally make these waffles, you won't regret it!

Rainy Days Call For Soup

 The saying goes "April showers bring May flowers".

It's spring, so we all want sunnier weather, but Mother Nature needs to do her thing. On those days when it's raw, cold and drizzly (or downright pouring!), I like to have a comforting bowl of soup. Since this past weekend was pretty dismal in the weather department, I thought I would share with you my "famous" potato leek soup.

Yes..it is famous. Well, in my inner circle it is! Potato leek soup is easy, delicious and healthy. My version doesn't contain dairy and actually very little potato. To get that creamy, thick soup that feels indulgent, I use my secret weapon.

Rutabaga. There. Cat's out of the bag. I use rutabaga in my soup to replace some of the potatoes. Trust me it works!

 Ingredients:

2-3 medium sized leeks prepared ( I will walk you through this!)
2-3 medium russet potatoes peeled (or whatever potatoes you have on hand)
3 carrots peeled
1/2 or whole rutabaga peeled depending on the size
6-8 cups of chicken or veggie broth
2 Tbsp of olive oil for the pot
All to taste
Pepper
Red pepper flakes
Salt

Let's start with the leeks, since they are really the star of the show. My friend Jacques, as in Jacques Pepin (okay, I don't know Jacques, but I wish I did!), taught me a really cool trick with leeks. Generally you are suppose to only use the white and very light green portion of the vegetable. Jacques, being the genius that he is, has a way to carve the leek to reduce waste.

Begin making a cut where the light green ends, following along in a circle until you've cut the first leaf off. You should see that the line of light green is higher on the inner leaf. Make another cut like your first. Again, the light green is higher. Continue cutting until you have two smaller leaves left. Then just cut those at it's lightest point.

Set aside your leftover leek tops to use for veggie stock or toss them.

This is what you will be using for the soup. Looks pretty doesn't it?

 Notice how dirty it is? Leeks are notoriously dirty. So here's another Pepin tip to ensure you can really get into the leaves and clean the leeks well.

Make 1 slice down each side (so 4 cuts total) and fan out all the leaves.

 First I soak the leaves in a bowl of cold water. Then I rinse the individual leaves. Really get in there and get all the dirt and sand out.

 Once all clean, finely chop the leeks (discard the stem), add oil to large stock pot at medium heat and throw in your chopped leeks. Saute for 5 minutes, stirring occasionally so as not to burn.

Peel your other veg (rinse the potatoes after peeled!) and chop. I like to chop them fairly small because they cook faster. Add to the pot and put in your pepper and red pepper flakes if using. Cook for another 5 minutes and then you can add your broth.

 Let everything simmer until all your veggies are really tender, almost mushy. Taste the broth and adjust seasoning as needed. Now, comes my favorite part, blending it all until nice and smooth.

I use an immersion blender. Using a standard blender to puree hot soup can be scary. I've never really tried it, but I've read it can melt parts of the machine, not to mention cause burns. If you don't have access to an immersion blender, I recommend cooling the soup (this does take time) and doing small batches.

 Once your soup is well blended, check your seasoning again. Once you feel it has enough salt/pepper, take it off the heat and serve. I just happened to have made a nice hearth loaf that worked beautifully with it. You could also serve it in a bread bowl (yum!) or with crispy toast pieces on top.

 Now that will make you feel all nice and cozy!

Easy Peasy Hummus

Are you still recovering from Easter like I am?

Last week was full of planning, prepping, cleaning and cooking. It was one of my most successful dinner parties I've ever held. I made just about everything from scratch, from appetizers to dessert and everything in between. Spent about 20 hours in the kitchen in two days, so needless to say, by the end I was absolutely exhausted.

That's why I decided to share an easy recipe.

Behold, the humble chickpea.

I didn't become a fan of these until a few years ago. Whenever I was served them, I couldn't get past the strange skin that popped off while eating. Or I was given them straight out the can, almost sour tasting chickpeas. Yuck.

When I decided to start eating less meat and cook more vegetarian meals, I decided to give them a try to add a little more balance to a dish. Dried chickpeas with a proper soak are best, but a can will work in a pinch.

I'm probably sharing this against my husband's wishes (he likes to keep recipes a secret), but I want everyone to try hummus the way we make it. It is ridiculously easy, fast and delicious. And like most things that are homemade, it's waaaayyy better than store bought.

Ingredients:
1 can of chickpeas drained and rinsed
2 cloves of garlic minced
2 tbsp creamy peanut butter
Ground cumin
Ground pepper
Coarse salt
Extra Virgin olive oil

Trader Joe's makes my FAVORITE peanut butter. It's the stir kind, but it has the best peanutty flavor. We use the peanut butter in place of tahini (my husband isn't a fan of tahini).

After I've rinsed and drained the chickpeas, I add them to the food processor and pulse a little to make a coarse paste. Then I add in all the ingredients but the olive oil. The seasonings are going to be according to your taste.

Then turn the food processor on and slowly drizzle the olive oil in until you get a nice, smooth consistency.

And...you're done! I serve it up with homemade pita chips, carrot sticks or I make hummus veggie wraps (the meal I request for my birthday every year).

First Day Out!

This is going to be a short, but very happy post!

A few weeks ago, we took a little trip to pick out our new hens to add to our brood. I had my heart set on Ameraucanas. They typically lay pastel blue or green eggs, how cool is that! My husband wanted a hardy hen, so he was looking for Barred Rock chickens.

We came out of the store with 4 little Ameraucanas and then later that day, Marc found his Barred Rocks at another store, which gave us 6 new little babies to raise. They needed heat right away, so under the red lamp they went!

I fell in love right away with the Ameraucanas. They were so darn fuzzy and cute. I love animals with character, originally I had wanted to get a Polish hen, mainly because they have poofs on their heads.Well, we aren't getting them, but our new little girls have what looks like beards. And that is pretty awesome too.

Forgive the image quality, these next two pictures were taken with my phone.

This past Monday was unusually warm (before Mother Nature laughed at us and threw us back into 30 degrees and it snowed). Monday was sunny with a slight breeze and close to 80 degrees, which meant it was time to let our baby chicks have some fresh air!

Here is their first taste of a sunny day, first touch of grass and my joy by capturing it all.

Here's hoping we get more days like that soon!

A Growing Family- Part Two

"To the world you may be one person; but to one person you may be the world."- Dr. Seuss

Recognize that little face above? It's amazing that in a few short months, he went from this (http://kristinesoares.blogspot.com/2014/04/a-growing-family-part-one.html), to this! I use to roll my eyes when people would say, "they grow up so fast". When I became a mom myself, I started to realize how true that statement was. When they are babies, it's crazy to watch their progression. Here are a few of my favorites from his 3 month, 6 month and one year photo sessions. 

3 Months:

6 Months:

While we are on the subject of how fast they grow. This was taken of his big sister in 2012.

And then in 2013!

This past weekend I got to return for little man's one year session. I was all smiles the whole day. Watching those fast, unsteady steps is just pure gold to me.

The boy loves his cars.

I also got to witness a dance party! He broke out some new moves and then they collapsed into a heap of giggles. Awesome.

Sweet little moments like this get me choked up.

And then there is a moment when I know I got THE shot of the day. For me, this sums up the innocence and joy in a child. In that moment, there was a strong gust of wind. He thought that was amazing. His reaction was equally amazing.

Easter is right around the corner, so we broke out the bunny ears. And yes, I wore them too!

Like I said before, I am blessed. If I can help one family by providing them with images they can cherish for years to come, I've done my job.

I'll leave you with this final image. These two have the world stretched out in front of them. They will have each other to learn from and lean on. They will fight like siblings do, but they will always love each other. I have no doubt that with the guidance of their amazing parents, these two will go on to do great things.